The importance of connection
On how I connected with other writers, and why these friendships have become invaluable.
(A note before we start: I think I have now set up my Substack to be two separate subscriptions, so if you want to just get my newsletter every couple of months you should be able to sign up to only get those, and if you want to get additional writing craft ramblings as well, you should be able to sign up for those too. I think. I am still getting my head around Substack, so if you want to change your subscription and can’t work out how to, leave me a comment and we can be confused together and then I’ll figure it out!)
When I was starting out as a writer, I saw so much advice about the importance of connecting with other writers. At the time, I ended up dismissing a lot of this; writing is such a solitary task that I couldn’t really see why having writer friends was quite so necessary. I also find writing to be an incredibly personal thing (even when you’re writing something completely unconnected to yourself), and the thought of sharing my work with strangers for it to be dissected was rather horrifying.
A few years down the line, I now have quite a different perspective on this! People that I met through writing groups have turned into close friends, and I don’t think I would have had a single story published without their insights and encouragement.
During lockdown, I took a genre-specific writing course. I hoped this would be a great way of getting a bit of writing focus back (the previous few years had been spent mostly climbing and mountaineering, with only very occasional bits of writing here and there), and I hoped that the feedback would help improve my writing.
Two aspects of this worked particularly well, neither of which I’d really contemplated in advance: the first was that doing a genre-specific course meant I connected with writers with similar reading and writing interests. The second was that the course was aimed at those specifically interested in the craft of writing. Rather than focusing on what makes a bestseller (no shade intended to courses which focus on that specific approach! It just wasn’t – and isn’t – where my interest lies), we spent a lot of time discussing the nuances of language and story. Again, this was partly valuable for what I got out of it, and partly because it meant I connected with people who had similar aims for their writing.
I got very lucky in landing an excellent group of writer friends thanks to this course. We’ve stayed in touch, and now – over four years later! – we still do a monthly Zoom. Although we’re working on very different things – everything from a trilogy through to pieces of flash – we’re all approaching writing with similar interests and goals. Sometimes we read and discuss a published story. Sometimes one of us will share a piece that we need some feedback on. Sometimes we just have a chat, celebrating successes and commiserating over struggles as needed.
This group of writers are now very trusted critique partners. I know – and really appreciate – that I can send them early drafts I’m struggling to shape, as well as pieces which I’ve edited again and again and again and still can’t quite get to work. Their feedback is invaluable, and I am always very grateful that they’re happy to tell me both when something isn’t working and when it is.
It's so hard to get enough distance from your own work to evaluate it properly. There have been times when I’ve sent out a story for feedback feeling like I should just scrap it, only to be told that other readers found considerably more interest in it than I had expected. There have also been times when I’ve sent them a story which I thought was pretty much ready for submission, only to have several inconsistencies in its plot gently pointed out. Either way, feedback from trusted friends is always very much needed, and is invaluable when I start the re-drafting process.
It's been fantastic to see the others in this group achieve success; it’s so encouraging to see friends getting their work in print. As with anything, seeing people you know make progress really does make it feel more achievable for yourself! And having a space to share rejection stories has helped the process feel less overwhelming.
As well as very trusted critique partners, this group of writers have become good friends. We went away for a writing retreat weekend last year, which was brilliant! It was the first time I had met any of them in person – and I was also heavily pregnant which could have made for a stressful weekend – but it felt like we’d been friends for years. We had a fantastic time, and having the space and quiet to write was invaluable. A very unexpected bonus was that the story I wrote whilst there ended up being published a few months later in Dark Mountain.
Over the last year or so, I’ve also been connecting with the local writing scene here in Eryri/North Wales. I was nervous about this at first, after previously only really being used to connecting with other writers online! But tha
nkfully I didn’t need to be at all. Through a local writing festival and monthly open mic nights, I’ve made friends with people who write completely different genres to me – and it’s been brilliant to get perspectives on writing and publishing from writers approaching it from completely different angles. It’s also just really nice to chat about writing in person.
Writing is still, for me, a very solitary and personal pursuit. I rarely talk to anyone about stories that I'm still drafting. I write best when I’m completely undisturbed, and when I’m not thinking about anything or anyone other than the story I’m working on. But I can’t imagine having made any real progress on my writing journey without the advice, encouragement and good company of other writer friends, and that really would be my first piece of advice now to anyone starting out: find yourself some writing pals and invest in those friendships.
I’d really recommend London Lit Lab for writing courses, particularly if you’re interested in the fantastical or folklore. And if you happen to be up in North Wales, come along to Versify in Bangor or the Anglesey Writing Festival.
(This blog wasn’t actually written for this purpose, but, now that we’re here – if you’re struggling to connect with any other writers to give you any feedback, I can do a coaching session or a manuscript critique or a developmental edit as best fits you and your writing! Drop me an email: philippa@lexicalpeaks.com)
Lovely reflections and writing retreat nook!